Pine Nuts Phenomenon

A raging epidemic broke out in Boston during this candy packed weekend. Three cases of Pine Mouth have occurred in the Boston/Cambridge area and numerous forum and sources swear that it is a real condition. Three victims, who wish to remain anonymous, woke up 24 hours ago to discover a curious aftertaste in their mouth. When asked to describe it, Victim 1 was noted to say, “It is as if I swallowed a fistful of pennies.” A more careful examination and interrogation revealed that this cooper-ish like taste overpowers everything. “Everything that I eat just tastes like coins. This flatbread, tastes like penny flatbread. This hot chocolate, I might as well be drinking melted pennies.”

This all started when all three victims had a very similar day. On Friday Victim 1 discovered a bag of pine nuts that came as a part of his birthday care package. Source 1 tried the pine nuts and went on to offer it to Victim 2 and Victim 3. Upon leaving the house together, they were offered free doughnuts from a concession stand which they heartily accepted. “At first we thought that it was the doughnuts. But then I went on Google to research my symptoms and found numerous forums discussing the Pine Mouth condition. It is real,” Victim 1 confessed.

Research and numerous articles (not just wikipedia my friends. ABC, NPR and Epicurious.com have all written article about this issue) have uncovered that Pine Mouth is a condition that occurs when one indulges in a good amount of these innocent-looking and delicious nuts. You go on with your day until 24 hours later you are haunted with the metallic taste that just overpowers everything.

While most of you spent your Sunday trick or treating, watching horror movie marathons or out drinking suspicious Halloween inspired drinks, these victims of this recent (latest complaints date back to only 2009) epidemic spent their Halloween Day attempting to get rid of this bitter metallic aftertaste. While Source 1 continuously chewed gum all day, Victim 2 went through more extreme measure. “I have been gurgling Scope all day. It just won’t go away.”

According to the numerous forums on “Pine Mouth”, this condition can last anywhere from one days to four weeks. There is no known cure to expedite the process. “Second day of Pine Mouth is the worst according to one of the sites,” said Victim 3. So dear readers, unless you would like to experience “Two Weeks of Eating a Penny” syndrome, do stay away from eating large quantities of pine nuts.

While the victims are recovering and hoping to regain their taste buds before Thanksgiving Break, here is a chocolate pie recipe for you to enjoy.

While this post was written for humorous purposes, there is Pine Mouth Syndrome that has been known to occur with the consumption of pine nuts.

Ingredients: Chocolate Pie Crust (you can make your own but I just used the store bought kind), 5 eggs, 3/4 cup cocoa powder, 1 cup of sugar, 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup chocolate chips, 1/2 cup heavy cream

Preheat oven to 400.Begin by cracking the eggs into a bowl

Add the sugar, cocoa powder and vanilla extract

Whisk (or beat together if you have an electric mixer) everything together until all the ingredients become one smooth mixture. Pour the batter into the pie crust.

Bake in the oven for 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. While the pie bakes make the never-failing ganache using the chocolate chips and cream.

Spread the ganache over the pie once it is baked and cooled

Enjoy and again don’t indulge in pine nuts. Hope you had a great Halloween!

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